24-1-2010

Last night I had a dream about Matthew Grindstaff. In my dream, he called, he said he had came back from navy training. I could hear his voice, like it was all real. But the fact is, I heard his voice before, that call was just memories in my head.

I know how I need him. Not like a boyfriend, but like a very good friend, or even like a family member. I still remember those advices he gave me. He was so honest, he was always right, right about everything.

I also remember I couldn't help him with anything while he helped me with everything. How useless I am, like a childlike, naive little girl seeking for help, and he was like my brother, helped me with all those I didn't know.

I miss him.

I told him I would pray for him everyday. And yes I do pray before I sleep, except a few times that I fell asleep accidentally and didn't pray properly, hope God didn't mind... and hope He knows that I wish Matt is okay, and I wish that He'd protect him from dangers, fears and troubles, like He does to everyone else.