20-1-2009

I've been running from here for a while. I stopped blogging since my exams. But during this stressful moment, a lot of things happened, I have stories to tell.

Before the exams, my English teacher, Ms. Lovelace, also came back from her Christmas holiday. She went back to America. I had her lesson that morning, she told me to meet her after the lesson, she said she had something for me. That day was a mess, everyone was talking so loud. She was a bit upset... no, not just a bit. I could tell, she was just pretending like it was alright. Again, I didn't stand up for her, though she had been really good to me. After the lesson, I went with her alone, and she got me a Michael Jackson t-shirt and poster from America. I was completely amazed! My eyes opened wide and I couldn't think of anything to thank her, my mouth was opened but no words came out. I could just barely say "thank you so much" again and again. She smiled.

I knew how much they costed, at least not that cheap, even in America. Why did she treat me so well? She always treats me well, but why? I'm only a student, who she only knows for a few months. She likes me a lot, maybe my English is the cause of it, but I'm still thankful. Then again, I've done nothing as return, I've done no favor for her, I've never stood up for her. I feel shame.

As I blogged before, I can't control my mind and heart. Under my appreciation, there was another voice, asking "If Justin beats you, would she change?" the suspicious, intimidated voice. My answer for that would be "no", just because that's what I want to hear. However, in reality, maybe it'd be "yes". Don't misunderstand me, I do trust Ms. Lovelace, I'm just too careful, and suspicious. I believe that if I predict the worst for everything, then nothing really hurts me that much.

This is the first story I want to share, soon there'll be more. And thank you, Ms. Lovelace.