1-10-2009

Another blog, right after the last one that wasn't completed. But it doesn't matter anymore.

I just talked to Marc. He's scared of me, I'm too mean, I'm too selfish, I hurt him. Now I just want to cut myself, but yet my heart is already bleeding. Not because of what he said, it's because of what I did.

There are really lots of people scared of me, I don't care though, they aren't important, I don't mind if they want to kill me. But Marc is very very important, I don't want everyone to get scared of me, not for those I love.

I don't know how to make it up, by typing texts? I typed something on my facebook and almost clicked the "share" button, oh no, what if I really sent it out? It only hurts him more, I can't do that. It might be wrong to say I want to cut myself, it only hurts him more when he sees it.

I believe now, I believe he loves me. It's a bliss to have Marc loves me. But it's such a curse to have me in his life, I don't deserve a good person like him, I can only hurt him, I never made him happy.