9-9-2009

Being around with couples is sort of jealous, and lonely.

Jessica is my best friend at school, the only one I'd say a friend at school. She met a boyfriend lately, I know him and he's nice, just never expected they'd be together. It's kind of weird because they are too different but it seems like they're going pretty well so far.

Being with them, I feel like I should disappear, of course they don't think I've ever bothered them but I just feel it. Before Jessica met him, she was always with me and I took care of her. Now he takes care of her and I'm unnecessary, she's happy with him. She talked to me when they were not stable, maybe she'd do the same when they meet the same situation. It's been a while me and her haven't been like usual, he replaced me, I think.

Does everything really have to change?

It was fun that we three hang out together, those days when they were both still single. But those days were gone, gone to somewhere and never coming back.

Jessica didn't come to school for 2 days. I saw her boyfriend when I left school, he was holding her books and homework, said he was going to visit her. How sweet...

Should I be more considerate?

I am self-centered to everything or everyone, maybe even overdoing it. Jessica is my best friend, shouldn't I hope she's happy? I want her to stay with me more but that might make her unhappy. Maybe I'd rather let myself be alone. It's not that bad to be alone, probably.