23-9-2009

I cried incredibly last night. It wasn't only because of Marc, there are lots more reasons, he's just one of them.

The pressure around me is pushing so hard, maybe no one is pushing them, no one but myself. Family, school work, Marc, Jessica...... A lot.

I called Jessica, I didn't want to hear her saying "It's no big deal, why are you crying for such things?!" but she did. I didn't tell her about Marc and family stuff, and of course I didn't tell her how unhappy her boyfriend and herself made me. I just wanted a person be around when I cried this time. I always cry before going to sleep, lying on my bed, looking at photos around me, and let the river flood. Until I fall asleep because of tiredness.

I still had too much work to finish, I thought I couldn't let emotion out, not at that time. But I couldn't stop it. I threw my work to aside, went to my room, and cried unboundedly. It didn't stay long, as I had another hard day, felt so tired. I fell asleep.

Crying is so relaxing, but also depressing. It feels good, specially when you're stressed for a while.

After 6 hours, I woke up and typed it before I forget what happened.