26-7-2009

I can't sleep, my mind is keep running itself. There's too much that I'm worrying about.

I just asked Jay if he hated me, he used to say he liked me, but I didn't treat him very well and we're not doing good. He didn't give his answer right away but said a few things, which means he didn't hate me but didn't like me anymore. He didn't agree with me, he just told me he doesn't like to talk to depressed people and I'm always depressed.

I wanted to tell him why he always find I'm depressed, because I thought I could rely on him so I only talked to him when I felt depressed and unhappy, or maybe need help. But I didn't tell him.

I'm awake, I'm keep thinking, I'm hurt, I'm depressed, I'm failed to find people I wanted to find, I'm going to sleep.